On The Shelf

When dating I like to look at what interests the man has. If he's a reader, you can look in the book case to get some ideas. Let's see here... There's some Stephen King, different books on nature and wild life, outer space, bible study guides, oh and here's something... Understanding feminine psychology.

As I take the book form the shelf I wonder myself about the psyche of a woman. I'm not sure I understand it. As I read I become more confused then ever...And I'm a female.

My mind wonders to what is on my shelf at home... Let me think I have some diet books, 1001 romantic ideas, book of massage, self help books for being single, faith to faith, and a lot of sign language books. Most of the books people gave me thinking that they were helping. Hmmm... I haven't read most of them so they really don't count. But then again maybe he hasn't read these either.

Why is it that we look to a book to find out what's going on in the minds of each other. This doesn't make much sense. Are we all nuts? Maybe this is part of the problem. As I put the book back on the shelf I realize what I need to do... I need get back to the basics and just get to know him as an individual.

I Need To Want It

For the past four years I been single and dating. Meeting different guys and getting to know them has been interesting to say the least. All of them have different likes and dislikes, and no two are the same. I think to myself... I like this one for the outdoors and that one for being open minded, and then over here he is so romantic, oh and that one ever there is very creative. BUT they all have one thing in common...?

As a woman I can only guess what goes on in a mans head (or HEAD). It seams to me that he can look at a girl and find that she has tits and ass and he's turned on. Immediately he wants to get things moving forward and there he goes...?

I don't know if I'm like most girls but for me I need to look at a man. I need to look in his eyes and imagine kissing him...Day dream of kissing him...I need to want to kiss him before he...? Shoves his face into mine and ramming his tongue down my throat. That is not a kiss and it's not romantic. This does not help us girls to want to be intimate with a man.

Just as soon as I think, ok that's just the way it is now days and I need to just get over it... I met someone on line. We talk about everything...But not sex. That's a first for me, usually one of the first things I'm asked is what size bra do I wear? We talk for weeks. He sent me pictures of him and his son, and of the area that they live. He wants to met me in person...? And I think, oh no here we go again...?

We met late one night, after I get off work and then drive three hours to his town. He kisses me here on the cheek and then later on the neck... Just a little... Not fast... Not rude... Not pushy. He is leaving me wanting more and I kept thinking about what it would be like. The next day we went for a drive. He took me around to show me the area. I love the country life with the mountains, trees, and water. It's beautiful. He takes me to a lake were as a kid he had his first kiss.

We are setting there looking at this pretty lake. The water is calm and there was a boat off in the distance. I was just enjoying the moment when...? It happened...? I jerked my head back and then...? I thought oh wait... ummm... This is different...ummm...ahhh...oh yummy. My breathing changed... My ears were hot and my toes and fingers were tingling. Oh yeah... That's the way it's done. Mercy...

Table 8

In the restaurant business Friday's are always busy and last Friday was no different. It started out like any other but this one there was a couple that stood out from all the rest of the people. They were seated at table 8 and held each others hands as they sat across from one another talking.

I took their order and gave them their salads, then put the order in at the kitchen. We were very busy and all the tables were full. Twenty minutes went by and their food still had not been made and what they ordered doesn't take long to make. I asked the cook about the order and we got it worked out. I was told it would not take more than another three minute. With that I went to table to explain.

Table 8 was still holding hands ... Looking into each others eyes while talking together. When I explained they just smiled and said,"Oh we hadn't even notice." They were completely oblivious to the fact that so much time had gone by.

The next day once again I was at work. The other girl was on her brake and I had the place for myself. A couple came in and I asked them, "Where would you like to set." They pointed and I sat them down at table 8.

Just like the couple from the night before, they sat across from each other and held hands...Looking into each others eyes as they were talking. It was my turn to take a brake and from where I was setting I could still see this couple.

I sat there eating...Just watching them...They seamed so very much in love...Like the world had stop and nothing else mattered...I kept thinking...I want to set at table 8.

What's next ...

I was visiting with my family yesterday and after I left something kept ringing in my head. It was something my aunt said, "I just don't know what's going to happen next." She seamed panic-stricken. I just couldn't stop thinking about those words.

For my aunt it was about her marriage and if they were going to stay together or not. Will they sell the house and if they do, will she buy another and where? The uncertainty of her life made her very uncomfortable. She had so many questions and was worried wanting to have them answered.

I don't understand how a person can get things worked up in their head and need to know, what will happen??? The one thing that I have been though is knowing what was going to be happening. T-h-e * s-a-m-e * t-h-i-n-g * e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y. Nothing changed, it was the same bull shit, different day. The dread of life just going through motions with no emotions. I don't ever want to do that again.

I need to know that something new could be just around the corner. I like surprises... When there good it's better but even when it looks bad I still look at it and think, "Where is this going to go." I'm still very curious and try to enjoy the journey.

When my old life had pasted... And the new came... It was...? The unknown... I rub my hands together and said with a smile, "What's next?"

No dip...Ever

Working in a restaurant as a server/waitress can be a pain in the butt. Different owners want things done in different ways. Some even have a book of rules that you must go by. For the new person just starting out it is a matter of learning these rules but for the person that has been doing this type of work for years, you must throw out everything you do and try to start over.

Within these rules there are terms of measure like: Golf ball of whipping cream, 4 level scoops of ice cream, brown souffle half full, one ladle but there are many different sizes of ladles. Other rules are like, you are to give a straw with soda but not with ice tea but if they ask for one you can give it to them. Microwave 15 seconds for brownie and 45 seconds for corn bread. Always carry drinks on a tray and never dip plastic glasses into ice, always use the ice scoop to put ice into plastic glasses.

The hardest time for me is when we get busy. I go into automatic mode and shit just happens. First of all I want you to understand that it takes three of this scoops to fill one glass, this is a waste of time for me and time is crucial. Then having to tray one or two glasses? I don't know, I'm thinking that the costumer wants the drink and don't care if my hand on the thing.

Both of my manager understand when I forget and don't usually say anything to me about it; however; the female owner came in one day and was standing at the ice. We were very busy and I.... Yes... I did... Right there in front of her and the world stopped. She tells me, "Never, never ever, don't ever, never...(well at this point I want to laugh but she continues to go on) never, don't YOU e-v-e-r dip a glass in the ice e-v-e-r, n-e-v-e-r. I said, "Yes, I'm sorry," and went on. This happened two weeks ago and now when ever anyone is scooping ice they repeat this. Of course they are scooping with the glass while they say this.

Friendship After Being Lovers?

We started out being great friends and then it went into love making. Some of the greatest sex ever. It worked into hard, sweaty, and very passionate acts, like I had never had before. Something I never knew existed. For one reason or another it just doesn't work into a relationship other than a friendship and we decide that we both should see other people; however; we still remain friends.

When you date someone new you try to let them in on things they need to know about you but how much must one tell. I would think you should say something before it abruptly rears its ugly head. Something like: Oh by the way..., or How do you feel about men and women being friends..., or I have this female friend... But no.

My friend brings his date to the races where my cousin and I happen to be and he knows we are there and he wants to set with us. He calls and asks me if I will be ok with this. I tell him I will be fine and remind him that I told him that he needed to start dating. Then I ask him a very important question... "Does she know about me?" He tells me, "No you've never came up at all and we are in different cars and she will be there shortly after me. There is no time to explain now."

When she shows up he doesn't introduce us right away and I'm sure she was wondering who the hell us two girls are that he keeps talking to. My cousin and I go to get food. (Well that's what we tell them anyway). When we get back the date is now setting in between my friend and I. We are told that with him by me their kids are in between them...? And that this way their kids will be on the other side...?

When the races are finished my cousin and I can't wait to go down to the pits but before we can even get up this date has ran us over to get out and go home. Maybe it's just me... But I'm thinking it didn't go over well.