The timid Teri?

On this day for timid Teri:
I opened a "MySpace" page a couple of days ago and even though I haven't written anything in my profile I have been getting offers right and left. What type of offers you might ask? (Yes I know you didn't ask, but pretend). Well this one gal is looking for someone to "do" her husband and would like it to be me. Then there is also this m/k that wanted to talk about a proposition that they had, MFM. Also there are just single guys looking for someone to play with. They all say the same thing, that the like what they see in my profile. I don't have a profile but what I do have is these four pictures:




See...It's not a blog. In fact you don't have to write a thing.

I went to work only to find out that there were a lot of us working and it probably wouldn't be that busy. So I asked to leave early.

Shandi got home shortly after I did and we decided to go to this new bar in town. We had twin martinis and a sampler platter. We talked about many things including the fact that I was referred to as Timid Teri... I had such a good laugh.

After our visit we decided to go shopping. Deja Vu... This is my favorite sex store.

Just a day in the life of "timid" Teri.

Getting back to an Old Fashioned Christmas

While I was in a bad relationship the holidays became something I just tried to get through. My ex would want me to go with him and point out what I would like and then he would go back and get those exact items. I might as well have gone shopping for myself and it had no meaning. If I'm going to be in a relationship with a man for life, it has to mean something. I want him to learn about me and get that little something that expresses that. This is what I try to do.

I try to get into his head and find out what makes him tick and yes I might be wrong and he may hate it. But at least I try. I don't want to buy into what the advertisers tell me he wants. I don't think they really know him and I know they don't know me... She wants diamonds...? Not every girls wants diamonds.

I decided to get back to the basics of an old fashioned Christmas, the kind I had as a kid (Yes, I'm old). A stocking with a couple of neat little things some of which he had said that he liked but couldn't find in his area. Along with fruit, nuts, old fashioned candy and some books of topics we have in common. This is what I packed up into a care package.


Of course, you can't forget the true act of love...

Standing in the post office line.

This is the one thing that I still have that my ex got me for Christmas one year and I didn't pick it out. I decorate it every year for Christmas and every kid that come to the house plays with it. Every scratch and ding on it is a memory.

Last but not least a REAL tree with toys all over it. Hmmm... Just keeping in simple.

What is wrong with this picture?

Nothing, I thought.




I was talking to this cutie yesterday morning. We talked about where we live and what we do for a living. I asked him if he lifted weights and he said that he did, daily. I explain that I used to but that I stopped about five years age. No big deal, just chatting about simple little things. I told him I needed to get ready for work and he said that he might drop me a line on instant messenger one day. I told him that would be fine and I'll take to ya later. Oh and by the way, I said, my name is Teri and he said that his was Kenny. No big deal...Right?

I get home from work and Shandi is just busting at the seams for me to see something on my computer. I'm telling her, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, just a minute I want to catch Lew before he goes off to bed." She's telling me to look at the message...come on look...can you see it...? read it, read it...NO, NO, NO, out loud. At this point I'm saying, "WHAT!?" She says, "Pleeaaasssee I want you to read it." And so I look at it. "What the hell," was my response to the end of the IM. "YES," she says, "that's what I was wanting to know and how does he start so that he ends with this."

This is the message:

BUZZ!!!
m_p000: hi honey im here for you wow from the first time i met u i knew that my long search has finally ended
BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
m_p000: Sending you my love with words spoken true From the depths of my heart I send them to you Like petals of a rose is the touch of your face
I can feel it every time remember that i ve just met my long search missing rib ur sweet looking face is like sweet dripping honey
Feels like butterflies swirlin' inside of my tummy The warmth of your face
is like a torch of fire The tingling inside makes me burn with desire
So I just wanna say my love for you is true Along with these words
I wanna say "I Love You"

Merry Christmas
from kenny

What the hell!

Shandi, will you stop laughing!!!

Independent

I'm not perfect...I'll be the first one to say it, in fact I believe that I have said it here before. So, when someone tells me that I am independent...I just say, "Yeah, I know and you say it like it's a bad thing". See I've never had someone that I could depend on and had to be independent. My father wasn't in the picture most of my life and my husband was out partying or taking a nap on the couch. If I wasn't independent I would look like a fool trying to depend on everyone I get in contact with and wouldn't be able to accomplish anything in my life. Just setting back waiting for someone to help me. Yeah, like that's going to happen.

Well with that in mind. I'm talking to this guy, his name is Lew, and we're discussing different options the future has for us. In the process says to me, "You will be getting your degree finished first". Now, I should be happy that he is standing beside me on this but I had already mentioned to him that I wasn't sure if I would finish. It is not easy to take classes full time and work two jobs, it is burning me out. However I know I really should be grateful that he's not like my ex-husband telling me, "Over his dead body I'd be going to school".

This ends up being a problem in some of my relationships, the fact that I don't need a man. I haven't had a real one so far and have gotten around very well, thank you very much. But, I want a man. I want a partner that I can share everything with and I would like to be able to depend on a him. I don't need him to do things for me but I would like him to want to do it and enjoy doing it. I love taking care of a man and when he appreciates it, it's awesome and I then want to do more.

I feel like I've lived four different lives so far. One was with a dad that was happier being at work then at home and my mother being disconnected . Another with my mother still disconnected but now working and me having my step dad that seamed more like a parent then I'd ever had before (who died 20 year ago). Still another with a husband that was a deadbeat and my three wonderful kids. And now, single for almost 5 years and no one telling me how it should be done. So that's the problem...I want a partner for life. I want his input and I want to input as well. But I'm used to doing it on my own. Now, how do I get from here to there? This is me...a work in progress.

Last day of school!!! till spring

This day started like many others, but it is the last day of school which makes it feel a little different. The alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m. and without fail my cousin and I roll out of bed. We don't usually speak right away...I think we pretend that we're still in bed and asleep. Neither of us are morning people and a cheerful "good morning" is out of the question. We're not grouchy, just quiet. She's making coffee and I head for my computer and turn it on. One after another there are pop ups and one of them is from a guy that I've been talking to on IM. Of course, I'm unable to respond right away because of there are so many pop ups...(This is why I don't usually shut the stupid ass thing off at night). I think that I should get some studying done for the final today but I'm already starting to feel the relief of no school that will be coming soon. Five weeks, no school ahhh....

As I was setting in class and taking the final the instructor calls us up one by one to let us know what our grade could be. I found out that if I do well on the final I will get an "A" but if I do badly I will get a "B". I still don't know what I got.




Now as I set in the restaurant eating my chicken fried steak and over easy eggs with hash browns and sourdough toast, I feel content that if I only get a "B" that will be fine but in the class while taking the test I was panicked and just wanted that "A". So I set here writing this as I eat and ask myself...Why don't I lighten up...Take it easy...Don't take things so seriously...BUT what if I ease up to much and then...Oh no...ohhh...I guess I will just have to live with me stressing myself out.