If I at 46 years old could send my 17 year old self a letter...

On my way home from work I heard a song on the radio that was about just that. Writing a letter and sending it back in time to my much younger self. The song says that first I need to make sure that my younger self knows it's me by telling something about myself that I never told any one and I wonder what do I know that no one else knows? hmmm... I'm thinking.... wait. Okay but I'm still not sure I want to air it, not yet anyway. But, that does bring my to my next topic... Why is it that we are afraid to just be ourselves?

So many people try to be who they think that someone else wants them to be. A friend of mine, whom I work with, has left her husband. She now realizes that the reason that she was so unhappy in her marriage was that she was no longer being herself. He would tell her what to wear and how to act. She was on his time schedule. Unfortunately her two kids were not part of that schedule, which made it worse. She is trying to date; however; someone told her that she needs to calm down at work and not be so energetic. NOW, she's this quite, little meek, boring person that is no longer fun to work with. Costumers ask me what's wrong with her? Is she OK? And I tell them exactly what happen. We have decided to hang the person that told her that.

I do know what it's like to be single. I was single for 6 years and yes I would try to be the person I thought they were wanting, just as I did when I was 17. At 17 I was dating 5 different guys and was a different person with each of them. Dressed a little different, acted a little different, like different things, to be who I thought they wanted. After that I just had to be myself and for 2 years that's what I did. At 19 I got married and soon he was wanting me to not be so.... energetic. Maybe he was insecure with who he was, I don't really know, but I did what he was wanting. I became someone else. Years later I was tired of that boring person so became myself again and I told him I was going to be, me. After I divorced I did it again,lost myself, but not for long. I threw out a lot of guys trying to find the one that would let me be me. Just before my 3rd date with this one guy I told him.... you need to know somethings about me that aren't going to change. After I was done telling him these things. He smiled and said, "Wow, I think I like you even more now."

If I was to write a letter to myself I would have to say: I am you, the one that is dating 5 guys and is acting like a whole different person with each. This is what you need to know.... Be yourself no matter what.

My song....

Your Theme Song is Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf

"I like smoke and lightningHeavy metal thunderRacin' with the windAnd the feelin' that I'm under" A total independent spirit, you can't be held down or fenced in.You crave the feeling of wind on your face... and totally freedom.

What's" Your Theme Song?

I had it and lost it.... now, I want it back

Have you ever had something in your life and not realize how good it was till you lost it. Well for me it was getting a taste for the country life and how badly I would like to get it back.

The country roads that are quietly traveled.
The many flowers that paint the mountains.

The gates that are manually opened.

Baby calves
and barns that are not always red.
The simple life.
Finally feeling like I fit in.

hmmm.... at home at last.

For now it's only on the weekends when we can get away. Then Monday morning back to town for work. But, one day...... hmmmm... one day it will be full time.... again.

vacation for my navy son

Jonathan is stationed in Maryland. He was allowed to come home for 2weeks and was wanting to go camping, hiking and fishing.... and so we did. Only 1 of his sisters ,and her family, was able to get time off to go with us. The rest of the family was unable to get away from work.

We had a wonderful and relaxing time.

When Jonathan got back to Maryland he found out that he was to be shipped out to Kuwait mid July. Not sure how long he will have to be there, but I am soooo glad that I made time while he was home.

good day gone bad....

It was to be a wonderful day of cutting wood. It's hard work, but fun and brings us all a little closer. Then on the way home.... everything changed.

We don't know why he was so far into our lane.

His name was Steve.

Lopez and Pismo

Home sweet 2nd Home

I'm a country girl living in the town of Bakersfield, Ca. which has about 200,000 people. That is about 200,000 too many for me, not to mention that it's either smoggy, foggy or hotter than HELL most of the time. For many people, we live where our job (or school) takes us. I am one of those people. So, I try to make the best of it and escape to the country from time to time.

My husband and I have been running off to Woody, Ca., just to the north about an hour, to visit his family. They are always wanting us to come up and stay with them or buy a trailer to put on the property. I love these people. They are like the family that I've never had and took me in as family the day we met.

They have property with a mobile home on it, which is a very nice home placed on a foundation. But, it is like most mobile homes... the walls are very thin, and we are newly weds. There are only so much they need to know or to hear. After one night in their home we decided to get a travel trailer.

As we looked at the endless rows of travel trailers, fifth wheels, and motor homes, we try to decide.... What do we want?
Do we want to buy new or used...If we buy a used one, will it be any good when we retire in 12 years...What size do we need...Are we leaving it on the property or are we also going to travel with it...How big do we want the kitchen...Do we want a toilet in a room by its self...What size do we want the shower...How many do we want it to sleep...Do we want a second bedroom...Do we want a pop out and if so, how many...Do we need a celling fan...Do we need an island...Do we want a fireplace...Do we want a big screen T.V...? ...uhhh...? We don't watch T.V. Are these travel trailers? Wow, so many choices.

Finally we decide to take this.


She is 24 feet 9 inches long and will sleep six.
Her kitchen is a nice size with good counter space for me to cook. That was a must because I love to cook.
She has a good conversation area with the couch that pops out and gives good walking area.
She has a door the will shut off the living area from the bathroom and yes, the toilet is in a room by its self. That's the door on the right.

The shower is big enough for two and there is another door that shuts the bedroom off from the bath. There are two doors to go out side, one in the kitchen and one in the bedroom. I have always enjoyed looking at the different models but this is the first one that I have ever bought. It was so much fun. We will be taking position of her in about 5 to 8 days.