I was visiting with my family yesterday and after I left something kept ringing in my head. It was something my aunt said, "I just don't know what's going to happen next." She seamed panic-stricken. I just couldn't stop thinking about those words.
For my aunt it was about her marriage and if they were going to stay together or not. Will they sell the house and if they do, will she buy another and where? The uncertainty of her life made her very uncomfortable. She had so many questions and was worried wanting to have them answered.
I don't understand how a person can get things worked up in their head and need to know, what will happen??? The one thing that I have been though is knowing what was going to be happening. T-h-e * s-a-m-e * t-h-i-n-g * e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y. Nothing changed, it was the same bull shit, different day. The dread of life just going through motions with no emotions. I don't ever want to do that again.
I need to know that something new could be just around the corner. I like surprises... When there good it's better but even when it looks bad I still look at it and think, "Where is this going to go." I'm still very curious and try to enjoy the journey.
When my old life had pasted... And the new came... It was...? The unknown... I rub my hands together and said with a smile, "What's next?"
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5 comments:
NICE!!!
"The dread of life just going through motions with no emotions."
That spoke volumes to me.
I would rather have it bad than have it boring.
I always felt, if you don't like where your life is going.... CHANGE IT!!!
This is excellent.
OHHHHH... and... I love the new look :)
Yes... I do love the new look, but I couldn't have done it without my cuz. Thank-you so very much. Teri
Mm, yes. I've worn both sets of shoes and it's tiring either way. Living in a bland cell pool of sameness is horrible, but when life is a constant whirlwind of change and activity that can be stressful as hell. Some people don't deal with stress, me and your aunt included. You might have better coping mechanisms than she does, perhaps?
oops- cess pool, not cell pool!
introspectre: In my marriage it was always knowing he was going to be upset about some stupid-ass thing that didn't matter. That was old... the same old thing.
If I said that the sky was blue there was a disagreement and I would let him be right... I just didn't care anymore. Just going through motions.
When I got out everthing was so new and refreshing...I was eager to embrace it.
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